rêve

13:00, LE 11 JAN, 2010, CERGY LE HAUT, FRANCE


It's the second time I dreamed about him after coming to France.
No sign, no clue, no reason. Just one normal night, fall asleep, and he shows up.

Last time, at the end of a whole day hanging out, he turned back with a gentle smile on face as he usually does, as if arounded by a halo, and he said he liked me. I was nearly burst into tears. All the old memories awoke, past innocent laughters and sorrows. I took it as a regretion of never telling him how I liked him face to face back to 14.

This time, in front of a crowd of people, noisy around, but still silently in heart without talking to each other, he held me in his arms, suddenly but naturally, as if we were a couple for years in spite of the fact that we only see each other on average twice a year during the past 8 years. I have no feeling of his touch, numb to the surrounding. But I have one thing for sure, peaceful. Warm, joy and satisfication welled up. I know I was happy at that time, in the dream. Doubtless, I've always been gladsome with him.

I have no idea of these clueless dreams. It's not about the dreams themselves but about him. We have nothing in common for this moment, no chat, no contact since I've been in France. Why he kept showing in my dreams, sweet dreams, again and again, like the time I was still a little girl?